It’s hard to get rid of something that belonged to someone, that meant the world to you. You sit there re-reading them, wondering if you had acted a different way, communicated better, if things could have worked out. Asking yourself, WHY. Why did it happen? Why did I act that way? Why did I say what I said. But then you realize that you did it for a reason. You got rid of it because it was time for you to move on. You realized that it was time to put it in the past, pick yourself up, and keep on keeping on. Forgive, and do what you can to move on. To do what is right and good for you. And to do what will please God.
Tonight, I got rid of some old letters that my ex-girlfriend/fiancee or what have you, gave to me while we were at school. I kept them cause they were special to me. They reminded me of her. They were written by her, from her. If I was upset and needed cheering up, and she wasn’t available to talk or text or skype, I had the letters. They were things that remind me of her, and I forgave her, and now I am moving on with my life. I need to move on with my life and do what I feel God wants me to do. I need to ask a lot of people to forgive me. I lied to some people, about why I was leaving school. I can honestly say that I am glad that God let this relationship not work out. I let her manipulate me into thinking that I didn’t need schooling. That I shouldn’t listen to my parents. That if I stayed at school, I would never have what I wanted in life. Well, what I want in life is to help teens. I want to be a “Big Older Brother” to teen age guys. I want to be a good role model for them. A discipler for them. And one of the ways I can do that, is by going back to school. So I have decided, that I am going back to Word Of Life Bible Institute, and finish out my Second Year there. Then I will transfer to BBC and go for a Youth Pastoral Degree. When I am done, I will have 4 years of college under my belt. And I will be the first member in my family to have a Pastoral Degree. I will however, still be pursuing my EMT training and doing that while I am still here at home, before going back to WOLBI.
I am not sure where God will want me to work as a Youth Pastor, or who I will date and marry, but I am leaving those details up to him. I kind of like the whole surprise thing. I mean, heck, I wouldn’t be upset if God put me over seas as a missionary. Or a Missionary Youth Pastor. Training a guy at the church to become the new Youth Pastor. All I know, is that I want to work with Teens, Over seas.